Black-ish (S02E12): “Old Digger”

Review: Ruby tells Dré the worst thing she could ever tell him: she has a new man in her life!

Ruby invites Dré and Bow to dinner to meet her new boyfriend, Davis. After Pops reassures them that Ruby’s previous boyfriends were old and lifeless, platonic companions (one of which even “stopped breathing” and/or died on the Johnson’s living room couch), Dré and Bow meet Ruby and Davis for dinner. Davis, however, is anything but old and lifeless. He’s tall, dark and handsome, and twice as strong as Pops! Bow immediately adores Davis (mostly because he wants to take Ruby on a trip around the world), but Dré isn’t so easily swayed.

Dré pulls out all the stops to break up Ruby and Davis. Unlike when Pops dates younger women (of which there were a lot!), the thought of Ruby dating a man around his own age is just too much for him…. And for Pops! Jealous of Davis and Ruby’s not-so-platonic companionship, Pops tries to seduce Ruby to no avail. However, Dré faking a heart attack does the trick. For a hot minute, anyway. Because when Dré realizes the error of his ways, and he goes to Davis to apologize the next day, it turns out that Ruby and Davis never broke up at all. In the end, while Dré might not be over the moon about Ruby and Davis, all he wants is to see his mom happy. Awww!

This week’s B-plot is also about dating! Encouraged by Ruby’s success through the online dating service Ratch (yes, ‘ratch’, not ‘match’, but ‘ratch, for people with a certain “ratchet” lifestyle’!), Junior decides to sign up, too! His profile is a hit with a girl called Kirsten, but the others are convinced he’s being “catfish”-ed by a Nigerian man “who lives in a swimming pool in Lagos”. After testing Kirsten by pretending ‘The Incredible Hulk’ is the best Marvel movie (to which she agrees), Junior is flummoxed and convinced Kirsten must be a catfish. After all: “Do we live in a world where ‘Captain America: The Winter Soldier’ doesn’t exist?”.

The kids decide to meet up with Kirsten in a public place, where they’ll be able to recognize each other by wearing white denim jackets. When they arrive, the first thing Junior sees is a guy sitting at a table on his own wearing said jacket. Junior decides to make a spectacle of it, as the kids make sure it all gets caught on tape. Junior makes a fool of himself, just as the real Kirsten arrives. Decidedly not a catfish! But, unfortunately for Junior, the damage has already been done and Kirsten leaves Junior to it, as he gloats. Poor Junior just can’t catch a break!