New Girl (S05E07): “Wig”

Review: Winston is determined to make Reagan hang out with them, whether she wants to or not. After they run into Camilla, a girl Reagan is hooking up with, Reagan admits to Winston that she wants to break up with Camilla but has no idea how to do it. In fact, Reagan has never broken up with anyone before and usually she just disappears. Lucky for her, Winston has been dumped many, many times. 47 times, to be exact. In multiple parks, Santa’s lap, covered in butterflies… Presented with the perfect opportunity to hang out, he agrees to help her dump Camilla. 

Reagan and Winston engage in some “breakup” role playing and Winston puts his own spin on the role of Camilla. Winston-ified Camilla is slightly more dramatic and pregnant with a boy named D’lanté! Yes, that’s right. When Reagan freaks out, Winston promises to break up with Camilla in exchange for a “20-minute roommate dinner”.  

However, Winston and Camilla’s conversation does not go well. He tries to break up with Camilla, but Camilla convinces Winston to go confront Reagan…

This week’s other plot is mostly set at the loft. Schmidt and CeCe, happily engaged, need privacy for some much needed alone time. After all, it’s been “way too long since Mama’s had her biscuits”, because Schmidt and Cece are just freaky like that. But Nick, who hasn’t peed in four days and refuses to do so (or eat burrito’s) with Reagan around, is making this impossible. When he interrupts their alone time one too many times, Schmidt and CeCe try to come up with something that will make Reagan less perfect in Nick’s eyes, so he’ll actually talk to her.

Schmidt and CeCe tell Nick that Reagan does have a flaw; she wears wigs! After sniffing her hair, Nick is convinced this must be true. But when Nick takes some time to think about it, he wonders if they even know her at all. Because what kind of person wears a wig?

Cece tells him that Reagan might not be hiding anything. After all, Beyoncé wears wigs and Nick would trust Beyoncé with his life. Wouldn’t we all? A flashback to Nick’s rendition of “Drunk in Love” shows us how true that statement rings. Still, Nick thinks the best course of action is to go through Reagan’s room. Why? Because he’s Nick, ok?

In Reagan’s room, they find an Ohio State t-shirt, Canadian cash and the picture of a little boy. Cece and Schmidt confess that they lied about Reagan wearing a wig. But then, CeCe finds a few fake-ID’s and she starts overthinking the whole situation like Nick, “going full Nick”. What if Reagan really is hiding something? What if she’s a criminal?!

Reagan finds them in her room. She has a perfectly good explanation for everything, of course: she has fake-IDs because hospitals hate pharmaceutical reps and it gets her through the door, Canadian cash because she does a lot of business there, and the picture of the little boy… Just a picture of Reagan with a rough haircut! CeCe apologizes but Reagan is not upset about them going through her stuff; she did the same to them when she moved in. (Turns out, Nick is building a tree house!) The point is that they assumed she’s a criminal. To Reagan, there’s no point in getting to know each other if she’s leaving in a month. “Let’s just keep it clean and nobody will get upset,” she says…

Only for Camilla to barge in with Winston! Camilla’s very very upset. Reagan denies that she wanted to dump Camilla and still can’t break up with her. Instead, Reagan says she’s a criminal, far too dangerous for Camilla to be with. “Hard life, short life, probably won’t live that long!” Nick, CeCe and Schmidt back her up and try to convince Camilla that they’re a Japanese crime family, but, shockingly (lol), Camilla doesn’t buy it.

Finally, Reagan breaks things off. Camilla shows her appreciation by breaking Reagan’s stuff! But, hey, at least Reagan wants to hang out with them now!