New Girl (S05E16): “Helmet”

Review: When Sam wants Jess to meet his parents, she’s all for it. Until she has a sex dream about Nick in the football helmet her once gave her for Christmas. When she confides in Cece, CeCe assures Jess that the dream probably meant nothing and that she only had it because she’s getting more seriously involved with Sam. Jess agrees and decides that what she needs, is a Nick-free room. 

But throwing out everything Nick ever gave her backfires when Nick ends up finding the helmet in the hands of  Outside Dave and his rock babies. This in turn leads to Nick finding out about the sex dream. It’s just as awkward as it sounds. Especially because Nick won’t let it go and thinks this is a perfect opportunity to gloat and ask for all the intimate details of Jess’s dream. 

Frustrated, Jess puts on the helmet to prove a point. Which also backfires, because the helmet is too tight to take off and the helmet was actually a gift Nick originally got from his dead father. Touched by this, Jess decides that breaking the helmet is not an option and they need to find to get her head out of the helmet so she can meet Sam’s parents. 

Of course, this is the perfect time for Sam to pick her up for said meeting. CeCe tries to distract him with her conversational skills – which… are… bad – but eventually Sam catches Nick and Jess in the act of trying to get the sex helmet off her head. Somehow this involves Jess straddling Nick and some very poor word choices. 

Sam, being the trusting and understanding boyfriend that he is, lets it go, leaving Jess at the loft to deal with her helmet issue. But this ends up being just what Nick needs: he admits to Jess that Sam is a really good guy of “above average handsomeness” and that he makes her happy, so its time for him to step back. And for them to destroy the helmet. Thanks to Nick and his tools, Jess makes it to dinner with Sam and his two dads! And thanks to Jess, Nick gets to keep a part of his dad’s helmet, as Jess frames a part of it as a gift.

Meanwhile, Winston – who is now stuck in a prank marriage that’s actually very real – finally meets Aly’s infamous boyfriend, Tripp, when Schmidt and Winston meet Aly and her boyfriend for brunch. Tripp is a talent agent for pets, casting animals for blockbuster films. When he reveals that they’re casting cats for the next Avatar movie, Schmidt steps up and convinces him to take a meeting with Winston and Ferguson. so Ferguson can audition for it.

Reluctantly, Tripp agrees to the meeting. But during the meeting, Ferguson fails to impress him. Tripp shows them what a true cat actor must be capable of by showing them a video of a cat called Patches, who’s as much of a star as a cat can be. 

Determined to help Winston, Schmidt makes sure Ferguson gets to audition for Avatar anyway. But he quickly regrets this when, at the audition, it becomes clear that Ferguson is no match for Patches or any of the other professional cats. He apologizes to Winston for getting Ferguson into this mess and they both realize that this is actually more about Winston himself than his cat and that Schmidt really just wants to see Winston beat Aly’s boyfriend.

They concoct a plan to drive all the other cats away from the audition, but this ends up being a terrible, terrible plan, when all the cats are so drawn to Tripp’s catnip oil on Schmidt’s body that they run him out of the building, including Patches. Winston then takes the opportunity to take Ferguson to his audition and just when it’s Ferguson’s time to shine, he jumps head first into the trash can! The casting people do not seem impressed one bit by Ferguson’s free spirited cat-ness. 

But when Tripp and Patches crash the audition, the casting people let Tripp know that they can appreciate a cat like Ferguson and that he should consider representing more cats like him. Tripp snaps, angry that Winston is gloating, when he’s already so intimidating to Tripp! What a trip, Winston thinks, as he’s blown away by the fact that Aly’s boyfriend is intimidated by Winnie the Bish. Winston takes Ferguson “out of the game”. 

Later, at the bar, he tells Aly that he likes Tripp, as he makes Aly happy. Aly is touched by this, even if Winston is the kind of guy to eat his raisins hot. Awwwww.