With Jess gunning for the principal job at her school, Nick is trying to get a wedding gift for Cece and Schmidt while Winston tries to go undercover.
Now that the wedding festivities are over, the newly-weds are writing out their thank you cards and Schmidt is pretty intense when it comes to gifts. (Never thought I’d hear the words “porpoise porn” on television, but it doesn’t surprise me.)
Jess enters the Loft and announces that she is trying to be the next principal since Genevieve is dying (to leave Banyan Canon).
As it turns out, Winston was undercover as James Wonder and no one was the wiser.
Thanks to a horrifying and awkward scene with parent Ed Warner, Jess has a lot of ground to make up for in the race for principal.
Meanwhile, Nick is looking for the perfect wedding gift for Cece and Schmidt (he has a year! A YEAR!), it coincidentally is making some guacamole. Nick can’t give the blender because their wedding registry is a list made by robots. Coincidentally, Winston might be getting better with pranks. Nick is released from the registry.
James Wonder, father of Asher, and landscape architect is now deep undercover and somehow made friends with Ed Warner.
Go blow off steam at the arcade Schmidt, let Nick be hammered and pick out his gift! What can go wrong with drunk Nick?
Not surprisingly, Genevieve sees through Jess’ bribery, but Ms. Day goes all out and brings James Wonder off the bench.
At the dinner, Ed’s reasoning for Jess not being a good candidate for principal is that the “math decathlon” puts too much pressure on the kids. Naturally, she’s furious.
Nick’s gift might be the most horrifying thing of all time. How drunk can one person actually be at one time?
Jess does some back pedaling and says the decathlon is out, and that’s apparently enough to win Ed over.
Thanks to Jess being nominated, she finally stands up and says that it’s better to push kids, not let their parents coddle them. Not surprisingly, she wins their approval. Very Stand and Deliver.
In the final moments of the episode, Nick gets Jess and Winston added to the tattoo to make things less creepy. Ferguson is not part of the tattoo. Not surprising.
I’m going to pull a Genevieve and be painfully honest here: That was not a good episode. Nick has been on an upward trajectory in terms of life choices. The bar becoming more business venture than dead end job, his novel becoming much more of a reality, and of course being in a stable relationship with Reagan. This seems to be more “old” Nick to get a bad tattoo. Meh. 6/10