Review: While trying to track down Nikolaj’s favorite toy for his first Christmas with the Boyles, an action figure called Captain Latvia, Jake and Charles find themselves having to take down the Latvian mob. They infiltrate a Latvian nightclub, where Charles uses his skills of seduction to steal the key to the back office from the female manager.
Somehow, it works. But in the back office, Jake and Charles fail to find any incriminating evidence against the Latvian mob. Before they can safely leave with one of the club’s tablets, however, they’re caught by one of the security guard. Jake is easily taken out of the equation, but Charles, who channels his inner “mommy strength”, manages to take down the security guard so they can make a quick exit.
During the drive back to the precinct, Charles cracks the code to the tablet. On it, Jake finds information about a warehouse. They head to the location, but instead of waiting for back-up, Charles shimmies out of his pants – yes, really – and gets out of their car, leaving Jake to wait for back-up.
Unbeknownst to Charles, Jake has also shimmied out of his pants and he quickly catches up with him, knocking him out before he can do any real damage. When Boyle regains consciousness, back-up has arrived and they’re waiting for the signal to move in on the mob. Jake convinces Charles to sit this one out and go home, as he’s not only promised Nikolaj Captain Latvia, but also that he’d be there for him, alive.
After arresting the bad guys and confiscating their stuff, Jake shows up at Charles’s place with Captain Latvia. Except it’s an extremely melted Captain Latvia, no longer of use to anyone. Fortunately, Jake has an even better gift for Charles to give to Nikolaj: a policeman action figure. Best present ever!
Meanwhile, back at the precinct, the rest of the squad gets ready to perform in the annual Christmas carol competition. Determined to beat their worst enemy, the Metropolitan Transit Authority, they get to work to overcome their lack of harmony. Their saving grace comes in the form of a drunk criminal, trying to pass time by singing. Desperate to win, they decide to recruit him.
But when it’s time for the performance, Patrick, the recruit, gets an acute bout of stage fright, leaving the squad without a capable singer. Feigning a police emergency – “There’s… a bomb! Not here, far away, but… they still need us.” – they get out of it, only for the MTA to swoop in.
During the MTA’s performance, the Nine-Nine tries to come up with a new plan. While Terry & Rosa want to withdraw from the competition, Scully is the only one who knows the true spirit of Christmas, suggesting they should just go out there and give it their best shot. They decide to go with neither option. Because Amy brings out Patrick, who’s now drunk and ready for the spotlight thanks to her! But when it’s Patrick’s time to shine, he does exactly what a drunk caroling guy would do: he sings about farts, offends New York and gives a shout out to Hoboken, before falling off the stage.
Having lost the competition, the Nine-Nine sulks at the bar, plotting for revenge. The true hero is Scully, though, who has a better idea, more in line with the spirit of Christmas. The squad ends up caroling their hearts out outside of Charles’s apartment. They suck, but it sure is joyful. Happy Holidays!