The bankrupt and closing, Medieval Castle is burned down when the guys attempt to take the castle from Mayor West & “his” boys, after Peter & “his” boys lose the bid during auction. They’re put on 6 months probation.
Mort “gets laid” & Quagmire wants in on what’s happening?! How?! Moreso all the Scotts are doing it; Scott Baio, Scott Caan and Scotty Storch! It’s Tinder! The dating app that’s all about sex.. No small talk, no flowers, no dinner and a movIe; no spending money! With this limited responsibility to tradition, Glenn is in heaven and gives thanks to “cell phone Jesus”
Yet Quagmire is addicted, quickly! The boys find him in underwear only, crouched like Gollum and swiping his Tinder app. Now his only friends are sex friends and the boys must intervene to stop his obsession. Their attempts fail.
Later at the Drunken Clam, a woman named Sandra approaches Quagmire and he snaps out of his Tinder addiction when he gets the girl the old fashioned way. “Giddity”. However, the boys know her to be a hooker as they’ve paid one for the distraction. Their plan B. They’re also glad the hooker isn’t the man-murdering woman of late in Quahog, as he leaves with her…just as the real hooker shows up! Nonchalantly declaring Quagmire’s dead, they go with the hooker to play soccer. Well they have paid for time already!
Meanwhile, back at the ranch; Stewie complains of backaches and pains. He panics when he thinks he’s going to be “a big shoe, little shoe guy” But Dr Hartman advises his case is scoliosis. He’s to wear a back brace to correct his spine. It works. When he recovers, he doesn’t want to lose the perks of this compassionate care, given by his teacher & school mates. He feels special and privileged like Queen Elizabeth! So he continues to wear the brace.
Then one morning, he awakens to find his head is too heavy for his body! (this isn’t news!) Now he must wear a head brace to strengthen his atrophied head! He does, and narrates his 5 year experience off camera. And for this, we give thanks!
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