Wynonna Earp (S03E07) “I Fall to Pieces”

Previously on Wynonna Earp…

Bulshar (Jean Marchand) kidnapped people from Old Families of Purgatory. Sheriff Nedley (Greg Lawson) retired, which makes way for what we’ve all been looking forward to: Sheriff Nicole Haught (Katherine Barrell). Wynonna (Melanie Scrofano) meets and hooks up with a sexy fireman Charlie (Sebastian Pigott) while Doc (Tim Rozon) accepts Kate’s (Chantel Riley) vampire bite. Mama Earp (Megan Follows) reveals to Waverly (Dominique Provost-Chalkley) about her angelic father. And after a beautiful Earpmas dinner, Mama Earp frees Bobo Del Rey (Michael Eklund) in a continuation of bad decisions.

And Now Let the WynHaught Craziness Begin

I’ve been excited for this episode of Wynonna Earp ever since I saw Wynonna and Nicole handcuffed together in the promo. This episode didn’t disappoint in all the wild WynHaught content. Barrell and Scrofano’s comic chops are brilliant and for the most part, this is simply a fun episode. This is Noelle Carbone’s writing debut on Wynonna Earp and wow, what a debut it was.

Wynonna hooks up with Charlie again, stating that it’s the last time but it’s been the last time the last few times now. Unfortunately, Haught interrupts her once again by stopping by the fire station to campaign for the Sheriff position. Waverly looks adorable with her blazer and Sheriff Haught campaign button. In order to secure the firemen, Nicole agrees to buy their hot, sexy calendar. Clearly these dudes don’t realize that Waverly is her girlfriend and they’re barking up the wrong tree.

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Also fun fact: Purgatory has a Pride! Charlie tells Wynonna this when she’s 5 seconds away from jumping down his throat for potential homophobia. He’s not, thankfully. He’s obviously just as clueless as Season 1 Wynonna and didn’t put two and two together with WayHaught. Nicole warned Charlie about Wynonna’s hot mess behavior. And Wynonna tries to clap back with “cold tidy” and then proceeds to kick off the fire siren which alerts everyone’s attention.

I love the look on Nicole’s face as Wynonna steps out of the fire truck. She’s not even surprised her future sister-in-law is exiting a fire truck after a sexy rendezvous. Wynonna, Nicole, and Waverly leave. Waverly asks about Doc and Wynonna instantly shuts it down like they were never a thing. WayHaught immediately share a look and an eye roll.

Bulshar’s ring Even Rejects Vamp Doc

Speaking of Doc, he’s with Kate on her floor in some a**less chaps. Bulshar’s ring burns him awake because he’s now a vampire. He stares at his image in the mirror as it slowly disappears.

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Wynonna and Nicole join Nedley at the Sheriff’s department as annoying frat boys sing and chant. Waverly wakes up Jeremy (Varun Saranga), who’s fast asleep in the BBD offices. He’s looking for Bulshar’s new operation location. Back in Nedley’s office, Wynonna and Nicole get the keys to Nedley’s secret supernatural closet. He gives them a task. He needs them to clean it out and decide what stays and what goes. Also, Nedley checks in with Nicole about Purgatory’s city council’s vote, but unfortunately, the ultimate gate keeper Bunny Loblaw (Jann Arden) isn’t returning Nicole’s calls. Apparently Bunny’s a bully and according to Wynonna, she’s going to eat Nicole for lunch.

In the Homestead barn, Doc looks for something in the barn to hide Bulshar’s ring, but Mama Earp sneaks up on him with a shotgun. She’s offended he left in the middle of Earpmas dinner and demands he makes it up to her. Doc thinks sex but nope, Mama needs to get out. First, Bobo. Now this. Doc understands Cabin Fever and he’s willing to help.

Nedley Parent Traps WynHaught

Meanwhile, Nicole is taking Nedley’s task seriously. Wynonna obviously isn’t because she knows it’s not the actual task that’s important. Nedley parent-trapped them so they would learn to work together. Wynonna doesn’t think sorting through any of this stuff will help their Bulshar problem. But Nicole isn’t willing to sit on her butt and in a pretty low blow, she evokes Dolls’ death to incite Wynonna.

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Now she’s off her feet to “help” which includes throwing artifacts out the closet and shouting “Crap.” Nicole jumps in to stop her reckless behavior and they enter into a tug-of-war over a black mirror. In true Wynonna fashion, she lets it go and with spinning force, Nicole swings it out, takes out a gnome wife, and accidentally drops and smashes the mirror. Instant bad luck, ladies.

But seriously, on the most important day of Nicole’s life, it only gets worse from here. Lightning strikes a barn and a gnome monster appears to wreak havoc.

Wynonna joins Nedley at Shorty’s and shares a drink with him. She hands him the photo she found earlier and he reveals it’s Nicole in the photo. He says that they both have more in common than they think.

Bunny would Probably Endorse Willa for Sheriff

Nicole rapidly cleans her apartment to make it presentable for Bunny. But Bunny is literally the worst. She’s “deathly allergic” to Calamity Jane. She mutters “disgusting” about a WayHaught photo and puts it face down. There’s way too many Bunny Loblaw’s in this world. I went home this past Labor Day weekend and I really wanted to show off this episode. Especially these Bunny Loblaw parts so I can tell them to not be like her. To please see how ridiculous this type of hateful judgment is. Jann Arden sells this performance and it’s incredibly enjoyable. 

Mama Earp visits the grave of Willa and Ward Earp. She makes some snide comments about Willa always being Ward’s and Willa always feeling sorry for Willa. I mean, not a fan of Willa but this is harsh coming from your mother. But she also apologizes that she couldn’t protect Willa.

Bunny blackmails Nicole for the sheriff position. She wants the truth about demons. Wynonna interrupts and Bunny admits she’s thinking about backing Wynonna for Sheriff. Wynonna is an Earp, part of Purgatory’s old families. Nicole is an outsider and she’s too different. Nicole tugs Wynonna away into the kitchen and they argue over who would be the better sheriff. I love these two when they’re at odds with each other. Bunny appears too pleased with herself as she listens to their argument from the couch. However, the gnome monster shows up and gives Bunny a heart attack but not before she can shout out “Isis!” This freaking woman!

WynHaught Protocol: All The Rules and NO Rules

Wynonna and Nicole continue to argue over rules in the kitchen before they realize that Bunny is on the floor. This scene is hilarious. Nicole follows procedure and Wynonna continues to make questionable choices. Wynonna knows a ton of places to hide the body. Nicole checks for a pulse. Nicole asks for Bunny’s purse for her medication. Wynonna thinks they’re grabbing it to steal cash. Nicole stuffs Bunny into her cruiser so they can go to the hospital, something Bunny is completely against because they have too many immigrant doctors. Nicole and Wynonna continue to be at odds with each other, which leads to them being distracted long enough for two frat boys to steal Nicole’s cruiser with Bunny inside.

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I truly feel for Nicole in this moment. She’s trying to get that Sheriff position in her best “do-gooder” way, but you break one mirror and all hell breaks loose. Nicole stands in the middle of the street, in sheer disbelief, shouting at her terrible luck.

Wynonna hot-wires Bunny’s car as Nicole runs back out with Bunny’s purse…and Bunny’s keys. I love Wynonna’s immediate choice to start Bunny’s car is steeped in criminal-like behavior while Nicole justifies them taking Bunny’s car as commandeering it for police business. They reach out to Waverly and Jeremy, who are paired up this week, to track Nicole’s cruiser. Fortunately, they’re able to locate it and it’s parked. Unfortunately, it’s at a Revenant biker bar.

Best Case In a “It Gets Worse” Phenomenom

In best case scenarios in worst possible situation, Bunny is still in the cruiser. Nicole wisely keeps a spare key. Too bad Lady Luck went on vacation because Nicole breaks the key when she tries to unlock her door. It’s a real treat to watch Bunny Loblaw shout at both women because at this point, neither of them will be Sheriff even if they offer up an tremendous bribe.

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Wynonna pulls out Peacemaker to shoot the window but Nicole informs her that the bullet could ricochet and hit Bunny. Wynonna’s willing to take that risk, but not the risk that it could potentially ricochet and hit them. They decide the best option is to enter the bar and take back the keys from the two frat boys. And when I say “they,” I mean Wynonna comes up with the plan and forces Nicole to come along.

Mama “Obers” around with Vamp Doc Holliday

Doc and Mama share a drink by the graveyard. Mama tells her story of getting drunk, pregnant and suddenly finding herself married to Ward Earp. Doc asks what’s it like being with an angel and Mama turns it back around on him about what it’s like being with a demon. She knows! Oh god, she knows! Doc doesn’t answer. Mama responds his question about Julian. He made her feel like she didn’t have to break her spirit in order to be happy. On the night Waverly was born, Ward pushed Julian outside the Ghost River Triangle and ever since then, he’s been lost.

Bobo told her that and she reveals that she freed Bobo Del Rey for this information. Doc is clearly upset because Bobo has tried to kill Wynonna and Waverly on several occasions. He doesn’t appreciate the fact that she’s making decisions that could possibly harm their group with little disregard. But Mama is smug and clearly has a trick up her sleeve. She wants something and only Doc can give it to her. Which is worrisome.

Drinking Contest – WynHaught vs Rowdy Revenant

The revenants discuss what to do with the frat boys. Wynonna and Nicole sneak over to the frat boys, attempting to free them. But unfortunately, they’re caught. Wynonna proposes the revenants release the frat boys and instead, the revenant, Nicole and her have themselves a little contest. When asked what they’re good at, Nicole (“Golden Girls trivia”) and Wynonna (“Drinking”) answer differently. It’s hilarious and highlights the difference between the two. The revenant agrees to the drinking game. If WynHaught win, they get to go free. But to make matters worse, Wynonna proposes that if they lose, the revenants can kill them.

Solely here for scientific reasons.
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Nicole tells the frat boys to take the cruiser and “the old bag” to the hospital. Back in the Sheriff’s office, Waverly worries since her sister and girlfriend aren’t answering. Jeremy and her go over today’s events and realize that all this sounds way too unlucky to be a coincidence. Then, they see the broken mirror and they hope if they can put it back together, it will improve Nicole’s luck. Jeremy believes it can’t get much worse, but I’m sorry to say that it does.

Back at the revenant biker bar, the drinking competition is in full swing. The revenant is drunk. Wynonna seems surprisingly sober while taking shots and sipping from her beer. And Nicole is trashed and handcuffed to her future pain in the butt sister-in-law. They take couple more shots before the revenant’s attempt to swallow comes right back up. Wynonna and Nicole win! Well, sorta win. Technically, Nicole wins but it doesn’t really matter because of course, Wynonna cheated. She wasn’t sipping her beer but was spitting her shots into the bottle. It’s clever but it pisses off the revenants.

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I love drunk Nicole and I’m glad she’s making a reappearance this season. It definitely wouldn’t feel like a proper WynHaught episode without drunk shenanigans. Unfortunately, these two are still handcuffed together and now must work as a team to run away from the revenant bar. They legitimately have to travel through waist-deep snow and it’s the funniest thing ever. Wynonna, obviously sober, basically tugs drunk Nicole, who can hardly stand yet alone run/walk, through the snow.

Kate Owns Doc & WynHaught Get their Groove

Back at the Gardner House of Horrors, Doc searches through Kate’s personal belongings. He found her mementos, specifically I.D.’s of the people she has killed. Kate wonders if Wynonna will still want Doc now that he’s a vampire. Wynonna makes Doc want to be a better person, but Kate tells him that she’s like him as the rotten scoundrel that he was. But clearly, Doc doesn’t like to choose. However, Kate is unperturbed. He’s her’s now for all eternity. To her, he’s made his choice and it wasn’t Wynonna.

Wynonna and Nicole continue to argue over their differing personalities. Nicole thinks they wouldn’t be in this situation if Wynonna would just follow the rules. And for Wynonna, Purgatory has no rules. Honestly, I’m pretty big on rules. I like having procedures and guidelines, but I feel like even if Wynonna didn’t cheat, those revenants weren’t going to let the Heir simply go without a fight.

Wynonna tries to use Peacemaker to break the handcuffs but her gun jams. I said this a few weeks ago, but seriously, for a supernatural gun that kills demons, it’s incredibly temperamental and requires serious upkeep. First, it needs bullets and now, this. I do adore this quirk because most times, a superhero’s main weapon is invincible but Peacemaker is like if the Power Rangers’ Morphers didn’t work because they forgot to charge it with Zordon the night before. Or Batman’s Batmobile remote gadget dies and he can’t remotely access his vehicle.

“I miss Macaulay Culkin.” “Tell Waverly I love her.” “Sure, make me look like the a**hole.”
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Anyways, the revenants show up, notifying the pair by an axe hitting a nearby tree. Finally, Nicole and Wynonna make like Scott and Tessa and kick some revenant booty. Their contest-drinking buddy revenant headlocks them. Again, their differences shine when the revenant asks for last words. Wynonna quips about missing Macaulay Culkin and Nicole sweetly wants Waverly to know she loves her.

GNome Monster Saves Them But You Owe Him a Wife

Fortunately, gnome monster shows up and stabs the revenant from behind, which saves WynHaught from his deathly grasp. Unfortunately, gnome monster wants a wife so it continues to get worse. They run back to the Sheriff’s office where Waverly and Jeremy put the finishing touches to the mirror. Clearly, that didn’t work. Waverly bravely steps in front of the gnome monster, who throws her aside. Jeremy tries to brave the monster in true Gandalf fashion, but one roar and Jeremy is out.

All We Need is Monique!

Gnome monster redeclares his intentions to make one part of WynHaught his new wife. Wynonna hilariously shouts out, “Not it.” But don’t worry, Waverly has an idea. In the mean time, Wynonna uses a broom and Nicole uses her walkie to defend themselves from the gnome monster. Jeremy and Waverly search the Sheriff’s office and find a ceramic gnome in pieces. They start to tape it together, which seems like a terrible way to put ceramic pieces back together.

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While Jeremy and Waverly work on their ceramic gnome puzzle, Wynonna and Nicole present their cases on why the other should be the gnome wife. Wynonna provides good Nicole qualities—she’s beautiful, noble, and crazy good in bed because thin walls. Nicole counters that Wynonna is funny, irrepressible, goes way above for the people she loves, and is fertile (OMG!). Wynhaught tries to push him away but end up in a chokehold. Jeremy and Waverly realize they broke his gnome wife as Waverly holds her boobs and Jeremy refuses to touch them because #MeToo. They tape it back on, lightning strikes and Monique is good as new.

Gnome monster leaves with his new wife and all is well in WynHaught land. Unfortunately, luck decided to take this entire episode off. Back at the Homestead, Doc gives Mama Earp the necessary supplies for her escape. She wants to search for Julian. Mama reassures Doc that Wynonna won’t be angry with him, only her, because she always seems to forgive him. Doc doesn’t agree with her choice, but he won’t stop her.

WynHaught Agree to a Truce and a Win

Back at the Sheriff’s department, Bunny Loblaw stops by to spout more hate. I love and hate this character. Anyways, Bunny wants to let Office Haught know that she won’t be receiving Bunny’s support for the Sheriff position. But Wynonna shuts her down. She threatens to send all those demons, like the gnome monster Bunny tries to pretend was only a dream, to her if Bunny refuses to back Nicole Haught as sheriff. Bunny reluctantly agrees and takes her homophobic, xenophobic nonsense to church.

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It’s amazing and of course, leaned up against the door frame out of sight is Nicole, who heard the whole thing. She comes, bearing gifts of booze, as she joins Wynonna on the desk to share a drink. So, there are some rules Nicole is willing to break. The two share a heart-felt moment—it’s a win for them. Wynonna once thought of Nicole as an outsider, who would eventually run away when demon activity intensified, but Nicole loves Waverly and kinda Wynonna too.

Wynonna reveals Nicole is just as staked to this land as her and Waverly. She shows Nicole the photo of Nedley with little Nicole. Black Badge didn’t save her from the massacre; Nedley did. Nicole stops by Nedley’s office for details. 

This Lovely, Messy Found Family They’ve Formed
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It appears Nedley knew about Nicole this entire time. He had been keeping an eye out for her ever since. When he had found out she enrolled in the police academy, he couldn’t help but offer her this job. Nicole admits that everything good in her life is because she came back here. She met and fell in love with Waverly. Wynonna has her back. She found family in Dolls, Jeremy, and Doc. And she got a father figure in Nedley. I adore this scene between Nedley and Nicole. All those little mentorship moments with them has culminated into this exchange and it’s stunning. Barrell and Lawson certainly bring their A-game.

On a side note, I’m curious about Nicole’s parents, who they were, and what their issue is with cops. I wonder if Nicole’s law-abiding nature stems from possible criminal/neglectful behavior of her parents. Hopefully, we’ll get more back story on that.

Back at the Homestead, Wynonna returns to tearful Waverly. She’s discovered that Mama has left to search for Julian, leaving behind a heartbroken Waverly who was hoping to reconnect with her mother.

WynDoc Shatters Our Hearts

Wynonna reads her letter from Mama on the front porch and finds Doc waiting outside. He returns Bulshar’s ring to her since he can’t wear it. He tells her that he wants her to have it as protection for the upcoming battle. But she turns it around on him and wonders why he doesn’t keep it. She knows! He attempts to play it off like no particular reason. Wynonna asks if he spent the day with her mother and he goes to explain, but Wynonna stops him and reads him the letter from Mama. Mama Earp warns Wynonna not to trust Doc. He reveals that Mama let Bobo loose, but her mother’s reckless actions are not the topic at hand for Wynonna.

What about us? What about Alice?
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She wants him to say it. She wants him to tell her what he did—who he is. Doc reminds her that she refused him. She slaps him. Twice. Thrice before he snarls at her and reveals his teeth. God, it is heartbreaking. Rozon and Scrofano kill this scene together. The look of pure disappointment and despair on Wynonna’s face in contrast to the shame and regret on Doc’s face—it’s gut-wrenching and tore my heart apart. He let Kate transform him into a vampire and give him back his immortality. It seems Doc is destined to disappoint the Earp’s over and over again. He made this deal with the devil 130 years ago for immortality and it cost him his relationship with best friend. How could he think this wouldn’t cost him his relationship with Wynonna?

This scene had me in tears. Wynonna steps back into the Homestead, but not before uninviting him from her home while he begs her not to do this. These last 10 minutes were tear-jerkers for such a fun-filled, exciting episode of WynHaught craziness. I can’t wait for next season’s episode 7 WynHaught madness, but hey we have 5 more episodes left this season and I’m so pumped for the rest of this sh*t show.

Anyways, watch  Wynonna Earp on Friday’s on SyFy/Space at 9 p.m. Eastern!