Midnight, Texas (S02E09) “Yasss Queen”

So this is it, the final episode of ‘Midnight, Texas.’ Which is really no longer accurate, as the eponymous town is now called Patience instead of Midnight. Even the welcome signs have changed. So everyone is devastated by Manfred’s death, and the spell is completed. Theophilus is alive, his head transplanted to Manfred’s body. He looks pretty good for a guy whose been dead for 800 years. He and Hypathia kiss and ickiness seems to have won.

The good people of the town, whatever name you want to use, have been enslaved, and a few executed. The church’s sign saying ‘Love Thy Brother’ is a nice bit of dark humor (if perhaps a trifle unsubtle). Our Heroes, after pulling a carriage with the Incest Twins back to the resort, find themselves acting as servants. You can imagine the expression on Olivia’s face. At one point, Hypathia idly wonders what happened to Kai and asks Fiji if she’s sure he’s dead. Fiji assures her that the tracking spell she put on him didn’t pick up a pulse. Hmm…

Joe, it seems, is hooked up to an IV with the liquified ash of a demon. Specifically, Chuy. When it’s done, he’s turned evil, with black wings and even blacker eyes. He captures Olivia, when she attempts to escape, and returns her for a nasty ass punishment involving a drill and her teeth. I once had a dentist not give me enough Novocain and get a bit close to a nerve while drilling. Believe me when I tell you, what they were doing to Olivia would be unbelievably painful. (The best part was the dentist telling me next time not to jerk away but to just raise my hand. Um, no, the next time it happens, you and your drill will be flying across the room.)

Oh, I almost forgot, the good witches, the Delilahs, have been rounded up and put in cages. (Why yes, yes I do think there is some commentary going on here. Why do you ask?) They aren’t being killed, instead they’re having their butterflies/souls removed, turning them evil. That is how Patience is creating her army.

We see a van pull up and Walker gets out. He goes into a house and tells the occupant that things are looking bad in Midnight. (Patience? How about Midience? Or Patnight? No, let’s stick to Midnight.). The occupant? None other than Manfred, alive, kicking, and fully in possession of his head. It was Kai, who drank a vial of monster juice and cast a spell to make him Manny’s doppelgänger. But their plan failed, and now they need to free Delilah from the painting, it’s their last chance to save Midnight and their friends.

Fiji is eating popcorn and watching Netflix and has invited Bobo to join her. I can’t figure out why, exactly. She’s clearly bored by him, in her current state. She’s far more interested in cutting butterflies from good witches, and letting Theophilus crush them. But Theophilus has other problems. He seems to be getting sick. Hypathia summons Lem and demands he cure Theophilus, agreeing to let him speak to a doomed Olivia in exchange. She’s going to be burned at the stake, and he goes to say goodbye. (Spoiler alert: the hero does NOT die.)

Hey! it’s Pizza Delivery Guy! Glad he’s back! Bobo asks if he can get another soul for Fiji, and says he’ll give up his own. Basil says it doesn’t work that way and that he needs to take the soul from a stranger. Bobo isn’t sure, so Basil tells him how he can contact him and goes.

Stake Burning Time. Everyone is there to see the show, but the hooded guy with the torch is Manfred! And Walker, who uses brick dust to trap the bad witches. (It seems that evil can’t cross brick dust, which is news to me.)

But, the fire is lit anyway, with magic (which seems a lot more efficient that a dude with a torch, but I think these people are much more interested in ceremony than efficiency). And for some reason, Lem isn’t doing anything to help Olivia. Because Olivia isn’t human anymore, she’s a vampire! Yeah, this whole scene does NOT go down as planned. Our Heroes escape, with Fiji, whose trapped in a ring of something that will contain her. They need to get Delilah out of the painting, but Addie isn’t powerful enough, she needs another witch. Fiji. But Fiji needs a soul. Enter Basil. With a soul from a total stranger that they’ve never met. Bobo agrees to the terms. Yeah, there’s no way that won’t bite him in his very nice ass. She gets a new soul, and she’s our Fiji once more. But before they can finish the spell to free Delilah, EvilJoe arrives. The painting and Manny get taken to Hypathia, and Joe kills Addie. Aww, she was sweet. I’m sad. But Delilah gets out of the painting, presumably with a combination of the incomplete spell and her own power. Theophilus’s head is ripped off Kai’s body, end the demon energy escapes into the pool. Hypathia swims in the monster juice pool and turns into Uber Demon. As usual, teamwork makes the dream work, and with Kai’s help, Manny extracts the monster energy from Hypathia and destroys in the the fireplace. Delilah casts the Incest Twins into the painting.

Everything is back to what passes from normal in Midnight. Everyone is at Home Cookin’, now run by Bobo, and even Walker joins them. Fiji has cast an amnesia spell on the other residents. Olivia and Lem are about to settle down for a good day’s sleep. Joe is leaving, as he has to perform penance for killing an innocent. He names Manfred as the town’s protector in his absence.

Last, but certainly not least, Fiji has exciting news for Bobo. She’s pregnant. And then she says she’s already in love with him or her, even though they’ve never met. Bobo’s expression says it all.

Something wakes Manny from outside, and when he goes out, he sees Xylda, who tells him he’s in big trouble. He sees a figure dressed in a suit of armor with a sword walking down the street.

And that’s all folks! No more Midnight, I’m sorry to say, unless they succeed in selling it somewhere else. I hope you’ve enjoyed the ride as much as I have.

Other things:
– How terrifying is Olivia’s plastered on smile?
– Nice eyeliner, Kai
– What is it with paintings in this show? Last season, there was Joe’s painting.

Quotes:
“You got the wrong body, bitch.”

“You tried saving Bobo. And you turned into a huge dick. I’ve been there.”

“Be at peace, brother.”