Jersey Shore: Family Vacation (S03E07)

This is the episode recap of the seventh episode of Jersey Shore: Family Vacation. This post is dark and full of spoilers.

It is the aftermath of the Hitchuation!

The smoke has cleared and the dust has settled; the crew eases back into their normal lives.

Chris and Deena eagerly anticipate the arrival of their baby boy.  The other Chris and Angelina are house hunting before their wedding.  Considering their volatile relationship, this is a bold strategy Cotton and we will see if it pays off for them. Angelina suggests they may need couples therapy and it looks like she was spot on about that.  Chris believes if they hire a therapist, it will only expose the craziness which is Angelina. As a happily married man myself, I cannot say I disagree.

I really hope my wife is not reading this.

It’s Revelation Time

Nicole happily reveals to Jenni that she is pregnant.  Afterward, a gender reveal party confirms Nicole is having a boy.  They later discuss Roger’s meltdown on Instagram.  Jenni has painstakingly taken measures to ensure her divorce stays private but Roger pisses all over that plan with his Ronniesque social media exploits. Roger alleges that Jenni is refusing to let him see their children, which she unequivocally denies. Footage later shows Jenni pleading with police officers that Roger is a good father. This is definitely not a good look for all parties involved, especially Roger.

JWoww Roger divorce 300x297 - Jersey Shore: Family Vacation (S03E07)
source: starcasm.net

New Year’s Eve Fireworks

Normally, New Year’s Eve is a festive and happy occasion. But not in Jersey Shore: Family Vacation! Ron and Jen have another toxic episode. During a heated exchange, Jen assaults Ronnie with an ash tray and Jen is subsequently arrested. This has the makings of another TMZ drama.

Big House Advice

Mike and Uncle Nino dine together at a local pizzeria. For some odd reason, prison advice is the perfect topic to seek out Uncle Nino for words of wisdom. Uncle Nino promises to make a few calls on Mike’s behalf to some of his people “inside.” He then drops this little knowledge nugget on Mike’s dome. Apparently, according to Uncle Nino, blowjays do not count in prison.

I will just leave that here.

New Beginnings

Little CJ is here! Deena’s water breaks and she and Chris check into the hospital. Deena gives birth to a healthy baby boy and the love is exuding through her pores.

Deena will be an excellent mother.

After the latest fiasco involving Jen, Ronnie seeks out his father for some guidance. Ronnie’s dad gives him some tough love and explains that Ronnie has to be willing to make the changes necessary to improve his life.

Ronnie is tired of being tired. He is experiencing anxiety and depression and he finally realizes that he needs help. He checks into a “wellness retreat center.”  Ronnie finally understands that before he can work on being a good father and role model for Arianna Sky and a good partner to Jen, he must work on improving himself first.

This is wise thinking Ronnie and I wish you the best.

Final Chapter

Mike live streams his trip to turn himself into prison.  It is time for him to “pay the piper.” Social media is surprisingly supportive and filling his timeline with encouraging words. Mike has done a complete 180 from the man he was before and this is the final step in his journey to making amends for all the wrong he committed in the past. His strength and resilience while facing such adversity is a testament to his support system and the fundamental changes he has undergone.

Jersey Shore: Family Vacations airs Thursdays at 8:00 PM Eastern Time on MTV.